Oprah Apologizes to Coldplay ‘Kiss Cam’ HR Exec Who Is Calling Out Gwyneth Paltrow and Ryan Reynolds for Poking Fun at Scandal

“People say that that video … was the thing that united people,” Oprah told Kristin Cabot in a new sit-down. “And I feel bad for us as human beings if that’s what we did to you”

Kristin Cabot was not happy that Ryan Reynolds and Gwyneth Paltrow decided to make a tongue-in-cheek ad weighing in on the Coldplay “kiss cam” controversy that derailed Cabot’s life.

“It just felt really hypocritical to me and unnecessary,” she told Oprah Winfrey in an interview on Tuesday, March 17, looking back at the incident at a concert last summer in which she was caught on camera in the arms of her then-boss, Andy Byron, and jokingly singled out by Chris Martin when the pair tried to hide from view.

Cabot and Byron worked at Astronomer, a tech company: She was the head of human relations and he was the CEO.

Both were married, but — despite what many in the public assumed — Cabot was in the process of divorcing her husband and believed Byron was too, she has said. He has never spoken publicly.

They both soon resigned and were swamped by memes, mockery and more after footage of the kiss cam moment went massively viral — fueling what Cabot has called a wave of criticism, harassment and death threats that disproportionately focused on her over Byron.

One of the reactions was a brief ad released by Astronomer in late July, starring Paltrow (Martin’s ex), that poked fun at the company’s unexpected moment in the headlines. Reynolds’ Maximum Effort worked on the ad, too.

In a sit-down for The Oprah Podcast, Cabot dinged Paltrow for her role in the video, echoing what she said last year.

“That was really disappointing to me,” Cabot told Winfrey. “I felt like Gwyneth, someone whose company [Goop] is founded on or framed around uplifting women and women’s well-being … she doesn’t need the money.”

“I don’t know why she felt she needed to throw gas on the fire and get involved in all of this,” Cabot said.

She went on to say, “I don’t wanna let Ryan Reynolds off the hook either. He produced the ad, he created it and his wife [Blake Lively] has just gone through something really similar over the last year.” (Cabot was referring to Lively’s legal battle with her former It Ends With Us costar and director, Justin Baldoni, claiming sexual harassment and retaliation, which he has denied.)

Paltrow hasn’t publicly addressed Cabot’s comments. But Winfrey said that she spoke with Paltrow and Paltrow told her she only participated in the Astronomer ad because “she was told that you and Andy Byron had signed off,” which they had not, Cabot said.

Cabot said Paltrow had “communicated that to me as well.”

Winfrey then noted Paltrow had emailed Cabot but Cabot had not responded.

Reps for Reynolds and Paltrow didn’t respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment for this story.

As for Martin, Cabot said, “I loved Coldplay, but that kinda got ruined for me, I’ll be honest. Like — not the biggest fan anymore.”

Elsewhere in the podcast interview, Cabot opened up about the weeks before and after attending the concert.

She said that though she knew speaking out risked further criticism from skeptics who felt like she was trying to somehow prolong her fame, “My mom always taught us silence is acceptance,” she said.

“And for me and my family, what happened was not okay,” she said. “And I felt like by remaining silent, it was somehow accepting what had happened.”

Cabot said she had developed feelings for Byron in the four to six weeks before the concert after telling him she was separating from her husband. (She has two kids from a prior marriage as well.)

Cabot said Byron — who has since been seen with his wife wearing his wedding ring and has not responded to requests for comment — told her that he was in a similar situation and their close working relationship grew more personal.

“We developed feelings for each other during that time, for sure,” Cabot told Winfrey.

“I had been going through a really tough time. I was coming out of a separation, and it felt really good to get attention and affection from an awesome man,” Cabot said.

That night at the concert last July outside Boston, joined by some of Cabot’s friends and having invited Byron along, was the first time they were physically intimate and did not have a sexual relationship, Cabot has said.

“We had a blast together. … I had a really big crush on him, Oprah,” she said.

Before the kiss cam moment, she said, she and Byron had talked about notifying the board of Astronomer to change the workplace structure so that she wasn’t reporting into Byron: “It felt like the right thing to do,” she said.

“It was becoming apparent to me that we were putting ourselves in a situation where it was gonna get risky from a work standpoint,” Cabot said. “I mean, I reported to him — it’s my role was to actually be aware of those things happening at work and flagging when it might cause a problem.”

From left: Gwyneth Paltrow in an Astronomer ad poking fun at their notoriety after Andy Byron and Kristin Cabot were seen together.Astronomer/YouTube

In the immediate aftermath of being seen on camera, Cabot said, she was most worried about what her estranged husband would think. He was also at the concert, but with someone else.

“The last thing I wanted to do was embarrass him,” she said.

“My second thought was — oh my god, I’m in the arms of my boss and I’m the head of HR. Like, this is a really bad look,” she said, adding, “I own the poor decision that I made in that moment, and I’ve paid an unimaginable price for that.”

Soon, clips of her and Byron were everywhere online.

The controversy taught Cabot how easy it is to judge others in the digital age, she said. Now she wants her story to be an example of practicing kindness and empathy, particularly for women to other women.

“I’ve certainly seen funny things online and forwarded them around and clicked on them. I just don’t think people really stop and think about — there’s real humans behind this,” she said.

Instead, she said, she came other be seen as a symbol for bad behavior — like she was “something people attached to me that triggered things within themselves.”

“I represented something for people that they were afraid of in that moment. And I can have empathy for that. …  I get that,” she said. “I can understand that.”

But “now that I sit here, I don’t think — they don’t know me. It can’t really be me,” she said.

And while Cabot said she struggled with “tremendous guilt” over how the glare of the unwanted spotlight hurt her family, “I was also really clear that it doesn’t deserve the treatment that I got. It doesn’t deserve being made to feel that you should die.”

She singled out false claims that she used her sexuality to advance her career.

“I’ve never been involved with anyone I’ve worked with before” this story broke, she said. “I have been working since I was 13.”

“I had tremendous pride in what I had built. I I love what I do,” she said. “And for that to be a whole entire narrative to be written, that takes that away from me, it just gutted me in a way that I can’t explain.”

“I’m heartbroken at how women are treating other women,” she went on to say.

Kristin Cabot.Annie Hawkins

“I just think we’re holding each other back. Let’s stop,” she said. “And I think it’s a conversation that needs to be had over and over right now. What is going on with us as a gender that we take such pleasure in holding each other back and hurting each other? It’s really scary.”

Early in their sit-down, Winfrey told Cabot that she’d been one of those people who had a quick reaction to the viral video.

“I was like everybody else. I didn’t watch it hundreds of times or even more than once, but I made the judgment that you had made a mistake and you’re out with your boss,” she said.

Later in the interview, Winfrey then offered an apology of sorts to Cabot on the public’s behalf for that dynamic.

“People say that that video … was the thing that united people, that people were united in their judgment,” Winfrey said. “And I feel bad for us as human beings if that’s what we did to you.”

“Thank you,” Cabot responded.

Beware the algorithm’s ability to reinforce negative emotions into a mob mentality, Cabot said. Try not to rush to judgment. And try to be kind.

“I don’t know the answer yet, but it’s like, how can my experience turn into something positive to keep that conversation alive and try to figure out — why are we doing this to each other?” she said. “We’re so much stronger together.”