Kid Rock just can’t help making the news these days. If only it was for good reasons!
This week alone, the aging MAGA-aligned musician made headlines for royally pissing off Gavin Newsom with that barftastic RFK Jr. milk-chugging video, prompting yet another jokey “ban” from California. After that, he commented that God would respond to journalists accurately reporting his extraordinary $5,000 tour ticket price by smiting them.

But as usual, the only one who’s getting smited is the Kid himself, for very good reason. Earlier this month, ahead of the announcement that Turning Point USA would be hosting its own rival Super Bowl halftime show in a racist retort to Bad Bunny‘s history-making performance, the internet exploded with laughter to learn that one-hit wonder Kid Rock would be the headliner.
Things then took a dark turn when horrifying lyrics to a song from the 2001 kids movie Osmosis Jones started resurfacing. Hearing Kid Rock croon about how he “likes ’em underage” hit very differently in a post-Epstein files climate, and now, yet another clip from Kid Rock’s past shows just how disgusting he’s always been, even before his MAGA adoption ceremony.
In a 2001 Saturday Night Live performance, Kid Rock can be seen joking about assaulting the then-14-year-old Olsen twins. “Why is every guy in America waiting for these chicks to turn 18?” He asks the camera. “I mean you know what I say. If there’s grass on the field, play ball!”
In case anyone forgot just how disgusting the treatment of the Olsen twins was back in the early 2000s, let me remind you that there was a famous “countdown clock” set to Mary-Kate and Ashley’s 18th birthday. They weren’t the only vulnerable young girls in the public eye to experience this premature (and deeply creepy) sexualization. At the time, child stars growing up onscreen like Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff were also subject to these types of “jokes” and inappropriate objectification, and it’s taken its toll on even the most well-adjusted of these women.
When Duff, at 16, started dating the then 25-year-old Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden, no one though to comment on the fact that Duff was still a minor at the time. Lindsay Lohan dating Wilmer Valderamma was similarly treated as a totally normal thing, rather than a potentially predatory relationship. Duff has since come out with “Mature,” a reflection on a past age-gap relationship that she says wasn’t illegal, but was definitely “inappropriate.”
The early 2000s were a bleak time to be a vulnerable young girl in the spotlight, and predatory jokes like these were meant to be taken as excitingly shocking rather than blatantly disgusting. Kid Rock, as we’ve seen from the great Osmosis Jones reckoning, was one of the worst offenders. But today, in a moment when the Epstein files fallout is forcing us to take a clear-eyed look at those years, there’s no excuse for that kind of behavior—especially considering that so many of these men still haven’t faced any consequences for their actions.
“It was gross when I was 9,” one commenter wrote of the clip, “it’s even more gross when I’m in my mid 30s.”
“Everyone saying this happened years ago… AS IF THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE,” another commenter pointed out. In the words of Maya Angelou, when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
It’s no surprise that someone who’s been this upfront about his seemingly Epstein-esque desires from the start of his career has decide to cozy up to Tr*mp and Vance. But fortunately, in Kid Rock’s case, karma has already arrived in the form of his “MAGA fest” tour being cancelled after the old lyrics resurfaced. And as for those $5000 tour tickets, well…good luck finding enough suckers to fill those seats, bud.
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