Olivia Dunne’s Patriotic Uniform Has America-Hating Libs Sobbing, Kimmel’s BS & Quit Whining About Strike 3!

I mean, what a NIGHT! Did I call it, or what? I’ve been begging this country to gather some real momentum for weeks now, and Team USA picked us up last night.

Patriots. Absolute patriots. I think we’re in for a massive week now. We’ve got the WBC championship game tomorrow night, and then a billion straight days of March Madness basketball. I also hear that the new supreme leader of Iran is gay, which is just perfect.

The vibe has finally started to shift. Let’s harness this energy and really turn this month around. This is our chance, folks.

Let’s roll.

Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where Olivia Dunne, unlike the insufferable baseball writers, LOVES this great country. Whaaaaaaaaaaa, that ball was low! WAAAAAAA!

Shut up. It’s baseball. You don’t take that pitch on 3-2, and you don’t take it after the ump’s been calling it down there all night long. That’s baseball 101, dorks. Quit whining.

What else? I’ve got the best of the rest from a LOADED weekend of #content, Ben Stiller has a new drink out that literally nobody cares about (weird), and if you haven’t seen the ending to the Tennessee-Georgia game from over the weekend, buddy … strap in. It’s amazing. I can’t stop watching.

Grab you whatever patriotic beverage you’d like because we live in the greatest, most athletic country in the world, and settle in for a Monday ‘Cap!

Baseball has always been an imperfect game

I’m fired up today, so we’re jumping right into it.

The fake outrage over the ending to last night’s game has been a sight to behold. It’s truly been amazing. ESPN’s Jeff Passan, who I’ve heard hates me because I once ripped him a new one for his disgusting Pete Rose article, has been sobbing uncontrollably for HOURS now because of this Strike 3 call:

Anybody here who has played baseball knows you don’t take that pitch. The zone was big all game. He literally called that exact pitch the inning before. You do not take that pitch, in that situation, knowing the zone. Sorry.

Any baseball player – past or present – worth his salt will tell you that.

Yes, it was a ball. Yes, it was too close to take. That’s how baseball has worked for a century now. And guess what? I’d be saying the exact same thing if the shoe was on the other foot. There’s a reason Albert Pujols didn’t go out there and lose his mind on the ump after the call.

Because he’s one of the greatest players of all time, and he knows this to be true.

Bingo.

Do you know what Albert told the team after the game? The same exact thing ANY baseball coach/manager would tell his guys after losing a game like that. Here, I’ll give it to you, word-for-word, because I’ve heard it a million times:

“That wasn’t a strike, but that’s not why we lost the game. THIS is why we lost the game.”

Don’t let the umpire decide the game in baseball. Don’t let the refs decide it in football. You either take advantage of your opportunities, or you don’t.

The Dominican Republic had AMPLE opportunities to win that game. They melted every time. That’s how it goes.

Baseball has always been an imperfect game. Probably more than any other sport. ABS will be a fine addition to the league. But it’s also going to dumb it down a ton. I’m not 100% sure that’s a good thing.

Now, here’s Olivia Dunne angering the America-hating Libs to get our week going: