Kacey Musgraves’ New “Country Music” Video Is The Horniest Thing I’ve Ever Seen

I am SWEATING after watching this.

I know this is Hookstead’s beat, but I do love me some Kacey Musgraves, so I’ll take this one.

The Horniest Country Singer Alive, as dubbed by me, dropped one of the most insane music videos you’ll ever see last night after hyping up her new song, ‘Dry Spell,’ for weeks.

Yes, music videos still exist. I had no clue. What’s the point? I have no clue, either. Although, here I am writing about it, so I guess this is the point. Well done, Kacey!

Anyway, Musgraves spent the better part of the last month hyping up this new song by launching various billboards around the country that look like this:

Perhaps we should’ve known then that whatever the content of this song was going to be, it was going to make us SWEAT.

And while the lyrics are certainly … something … the nearly 3-minute music video is quite a production. And by that, I mean it’s literally just Kacey walking around a grocery store being turned on by everything and everyone she sees.

I’m talking eggplants, squashes, “Orgy Juice,” and a penis-shaped balloon. According to the lyrics, Kacey wrote this song after going 335 days without sex.

So, you know, I understand:

Kacey Musgraves ain’t Loretta Lynn

I mean, just a ton going on there. Well done, Kacey. This certainly ain’t your granddaddy’s country music. Don’t remember Loretta Lynn pumping out content like this. Not saying one is better than the other. Just saying there’s more than one way to skin a cat. That’s all.

I’m also not a big lyric guy. My wife constantly badgers me about not listening to lyrics. And I readily admit that I just don’t care. That’s not my strong suit. It takes me YEARS to listen to a song to fully grasp what they’re talking about, and even then, it’s 50/50. I’m still not 100% sure what American Pie is about.

BUT, this little line from Kacey jumped out to me:

“I’m so lonely, lonely with a capital “H” If you know what I mean, I’ve been sitting on the washing machine.”

Just beautiful stuff. Talk about a wordsmith! Again, this ain’t your granddaddy’s country music. Hell, it’s not even MY country music! I grew up with Shania Twain. She was a pistol, but NOTHING compared to this Kacey Musgraves.

Remember, this is the same chick who once rolled around naked in a field for her new album cover a few years back. Just … naked.

She has to be the horniest country singer ever, right? I think this seals it. Not sure that there’s even a close second after this video.

Anyway, the song ain’t for me, but I could watch that video all day long.

PS: no shot she went 335 days without sex. No. Shot.