“I Cried Like A Little Kid”: Ella Langley Reveals The “Most Insane God Moment” That Saved Her Life Last Year

Ella Langley

Ella Langley is opening up about one of the hardest times of her life, and an encounter with God that changed her life.

Last year, when she was the most nominated female artist walking into the ACM Awards, while many thought she would be living her best life, she was struggling on the inside. In an interview shared by Chicago’s The Scotty Kay Show, Langley admitted that the week of the ACM Awards was one of the “toughest mental health weeks” she has had in a long time.

She subsequently took some time off the road and spent time reconnecting with herself and her family, and during a conversation at Country Radio Seminar (CRS) last week, Ella spoke with Jo Dee Messina during keynote sessions she shared a very personal account of what was really going on.

She recalls getting the news about her nominations while she was in Canada, which stunned her because she wasn’t even invited to the show the year before. She sounds like she might have been battling a little bit of imposter syndrome, fearful that she hadn’t been around the country music game very long and didn’t deserve the nominations. But just days before the awards and her 26th birthday, her team suggested a day at the beach to celebrate, but the weather was absolutely terrible. Despite everyone on her team celebrating her accomplishments, Ella says she was feeling really sad, and then the next day, right when they were getting ready to leave, she had the most intense panic attack she’s ever had.

“I could not catch my breath. I had to call my mom and sit on the floor and it took about 30 minutes… it was scary.”

When her drummer offered to pray for her, she declined, and Ella explained there were two reasons for that:

“I’ve always had a relationship with my faith and the Lord, but it’s been kind of a rocky road. I grew up in the church, but once again, it was that unworthy thing… I told him no for two reasons. One, I thought if I heard him pray for me for the first time, I would lose it all over again, and two, it made me feel uncomfortable. It scared me.”

Not long after the panic attack, about 45 minutes later, Ella ended up in an Uber that changed her entire mindset. She saw a white car surrounded by black vehicles, which she viewed as a metaphor and symbol for her life:

“I thought, ‘You know, that’s kinda like what the devil is trying to do to me right now it feels like.’ And I hadn’t really thought this way before. All these thoughts come to my mind, and it feels like I’m getting attacked from all different angles. And there’s this one amazing thing happening, but for some reason, my brain is not letting it happen.

And I said, ‘It would be kinda crazy if another white car came.’ Here comes another white car. I said, ‘It would be crazy if another white car came,’ here comes another one. No way, here comes another one, and this flood of the same color white car. I was like, ‘What? That’s a coincidence.’”

She says she had a profound spiritual experience because she felt like God was reaching out to her in that moment:

“At this point I hadn’t heard anything of what was happening on the radio, it was real quiet, but I look over and it said ‘religious radio.’ And I look back over out the window, and there’s a white car with a ‘He’s greater’ sign. So I’m standing there having the most insane God moment  I’ve had in my life.”

Langley described the moment as the most profound spiritual experience of her life, one she believes was God reaching out to her. She says she “felt him talking” to her, though her manager started talking about luggage and logistics and she snapped out of it pretty quick:

“I felt him talking to me. I heard him talking to me, but I was just like ‘this is what they talk about. I look back over, and my manager is like, ‘Well, I don’t think the bags are gonna make it.’ I think we’ll have to fly everything.’ I immediately snapped out of that. I don’t hear anything else. And, I’m just beating myself up again…”

The Uber driver caught on to Ella’s inner most thoughts somehow, and looked at in the rear view mirror and told her that “God’s got you.” Ella couldn’t believe it:

“She looks at me in the rear view mirror, has no idea the moment I’m having, in the back seat. Looks at me in the eyes and says, ‘God’s got you.’ What? She said, ‘God’s got you, I went through something early in my life, I lost my baby son and I thought that was gonna kill me but God had me the whole entire time and I just felt called to tell you that right now.”

She also reached out for Ella’s hand to hold it and sang a hymn to her. Of course, Ella broke down and says she cried like a “little kid” because that’s something her grandma used to do too:

“I just cried like a little kid. For the first time in my life, I accepted that presence that has been there the whole time.”

Messina interject, saying simply:

“He never leaves you.”

It was clearly a transformational experience, and it also inspired a song on her new album Dandelion called “Speaking Terms,” which Ella explained is about her journey back to God and how much her faith has grown:

“He never did. But it took me to my knees, and I’m so grateful for the journey that He’s led me on because it genuinely has grown me into the human being that is made to do this, and He let me venture out far enough, but He was like, ‘You ain’t that far. I got you right here.’

So last year, I pulled my Bible out. I had dust all over it. I had to look for it for two days. But every day, I was in the Word, I’m still doing that and I’m still growing and that’s the thing, with all of these questions, ‘How are you getting through this?’ It’s that. It is truly that. That is the thing that saved my life last year.”

Incredible… God is good, Amen? Jo Dee Messina went on to deliver quite the sermon in the wake of Ella’s testimony.