Jessica Simpson Graces Today Show Stage, Reportedly Pees Herself

Simpson springing a leak just means she’s serious about performing

Jessica Simpson is back in a big way, ladies and gentlemen, and she’s leaving it all out on the stage…

Simpson dominated the aughts, and frankly, it’s good to have her back. I was a big Employee of the Month guy. Remember that movie? Dane Cook, Dax Shepard, Jessica Simpson, Harland Williams, Andy Dick, Efren Ramirez (Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite), and Brian George (Babu from Seinfeld).

It’s the most 2006 movie ever,  and it’s great.

Anyway, Simpson was on the Today Show this week to perform a medley of songs.

What songs exactly, I have no idea. I’ll be totally honest, I forgot she was a singer.

I knew her sister was, or at least pretended to be, then Irish jigged off the stage at SNL when she got caught.

However, a report from Page Six claims that Simpson sprung a leak during the performance, which now means I really hope her big comeback pans out for her.

Why? Not because I feel bad. The Today Show is one of the best places to pee yourself in public. I mean, Al Roker once shat his pants at the White House, he’ll understand what you’re going through.

No, the reason I hope it pans out is because this tells me that Simpson is all about performing. This isn’t some cash grab; she means business.

So much so that she started doing “business” without realizing.

That’s a consummate pro in my book, and she joins an esteemed list of people including  Pattie Labelle, Fergie, Joe Jonas, Ed Sheeran, Hugh Jackman, Mark Schlereth, and every racecar driver (whether they want to admit it or not) who has peed themselves on the job.

It’s an elite club, Jessica. You should be receiving your custom embroidered yellow jacket in the mail soon.

Wear it with pride… and be sure to get it dry-cleaned.